Black people with self-esteem are often told by unenlightened Whites–even some individuals who are liberal and friendly–that we are not “really Black.” In telling us this, these Whites do not see themselves as expressing racism; they feel they are offering us a special place. Yet there is, in these words, an attempt to seduce us away from loving Blackness, to undermine the very self-esteem that, by its existence, eliminates White supremacist domination.
This paragraph reminded me of the time one of my friends and I were discussing my being on BSA's minority panel and she said, "I don't think of you as a minority, you're just my friend." I thought that was quite a revealing statement. Maybe a few years ago, I would've been pleased to hear one of my white friends say that, but now it simply causes me to cringe. Mostly because I've been developing a stronger sense of self-esteem in regards to my blackness and it makes me more frustrated than anything that my being confident in being black is so inconsistent with the stereotypes of blackness that I'm not really seen as black.
While I don't think my friend, or many of the people who say these, "But I don't think of you as black," kind of statements are trying to offend, I don't think they're taking into account the unique experience that is had by minorities in a predominately white environment. Perhaps the dialogue started by Dr. Tatum's book will help to further expose and reveal differences that all too often seem to be ignored by whites, and build more trust on both sides.
